


Don't Leave Me

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Other, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 02:54:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11282289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: WARNING: Aftermath and talk of rape. Every victim of sexual assault is unique. People will react differently - and it is never their fault. If you’ve been a victim of assault and need to call or talk to someone call 800.656.HOPE (4673) or visit online.rainn.org. Everything is confidential.Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended.





	Don't Leave Me

You stared off into the distance. After…after you’d picked a place on the wall and focused in on it. 

Yelling.

Shots.

Doors banging.

“Y/N!” someone screamed. The voice didn’t sound real. Why?

He’d left you in the corner - chained and barely clothed. As someone came into your field of vision, you shuddered, catching a glimpse of the torn panties and lace bra. 

Spencer? It was Spencer crouched in front of you. It took a few moments for you to come to - actually focus, but he was there and he’d taken off his jacket to drape over your battered body. “It’s me.” Immediately he must’ve known what had happened. Spencer wasn’t one for touch, but he hugged you, his best friend, but he barely came near you. “It’s me. Can you stand up?”

You attempted it, but everything felt…disgusting. Staying still meant you could forget it. As your eyes welled up slightly, you shook your head. “We need to get you to the hospital.” Looking up, a mix of anger, sadness and pity in eyes, Spencer ushered over the EMTs. “Place it on the floor next to her,” he instructed. You wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone else. “Can you move over onto the stretcher so we can take you to the hospital?” When you turned to the side, the two strange men scared you and your head immediately snapped back toward Spencer. “No one will touch you.”

A few shallow breaths hung in the air before you managed to move onto the stretcher. From there, it was a blur. Needles. Random people poking and prodding at your arms and legs. Each time, you flinched. That’s all you could really remember. That, and Spencer had been there the entire time. He said nothing, but he never left your field of vision. 

Once in the hospital, Spencer served as your intermediary, asking you questions on behalf of the doctor. “She needs to take a look at you,” he said softly. Your eyes immediately watered up, forming a wall against them and your breath caught in your throat.

You knew they had to.

For the first time since he’d entered your sight, you spoke to Spencer, the tears falling in sheets. “Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t,” he said. “I am here for as long as you need me. I promise. Okay?”

Nodding, you bit your lip and leaned back, watching as Spencer sat behind you to give you as much privacy as was able in this situation. The doctor began her exam and you sobbed. “I’m here,” Spencer said softly. Normally, so full of words, Spencer could barely speak, and you heard it through the strain in his voice. “The doctor said he’s almost done.”

After the examination, Spencer asked if you were okay to talk to another nurse, also a woman, while he talked to the doctor on your behalf, which you’d allowed. You recounted what you could to the nurse, sobbing into her arms as you remembered what he’d done.

By the time Spencer came back, you were numb. Still a little cold, you pulled Spencer’s jacket back on and tightened around your body. “The doctor suggested that someone stay with you when you’re discharged. Do you want JJ or Emily to take you home?”

Frantically, you shook your head. “Don’t leave me,” you begged, clutching on to the sleeve of his shirt. “You promised you wouldn’t leave me. You promised.” You broke out into hysterics.

“I’m not leaving,” he said, crouching down slightly to look into your eyes. “I’m not leaving unless you want me to. I just want to make sure you’re okay with me taking you home.”

With a steady breath, you stood up and walked the few steps to the wheelchair, not looking at any of your other teammates. There was only so much pity you could take. After getting into the car, he drove you home and ushered you up to your apartment slowly. You wondered if you’d ever feel safe again. 

“Do you want to go to sleep?” he asked upon closing your door. 

You shook your head, sitting down on the couch and pulling a blanket over you. Spencer brought you a glass of water along with the medication the doctor had described for pain. He sat on the opposite end of the couch and for more than a few moments, you sat there in silence. “Y/N,” he said, his voice full of hesitation, “I need you to know that I’m here to listen if you want to talk about what happened. I’m here if you want to sit in silence and until you fall asleep. I’m here for whatever you need.”

In a daze, you pushed up with your arm. “I couldn’t stop it…I should’ve been able to…I’m an officer.”

“He caught you off guard. He was strong. This is not your fault.” Spencer’s voice was more insistent than it had been all evening. 

You were different now. What would people think of you now? “I should’ve stopped it, but I was so scared, Spence. He pinned me down. All of his weight was on top of me. He pulled at my clothes and he…” You ran out of air, the rest of your sentence stalling in your throat. 

“I know and I believe you,” he said, putting his arm around you tentatively when you leaned into him. “You’re not alone. I’m not going to leave you.” 

“He…” You started to feel sick, but you held it back. “He pushed into me and put his entire weight into his body. I should’ve tried to move, but I was so scared.” His breath had smelled of cigarettes, and the scent of musk wafted off his being as he’d pushed into your body, which he’d pried open with calloused hands. “I feel so…dirty.” The realization at what he’d taken from you only sunk in at that moment. You started wiping at your arms and legs and sobbing. “Oh, god, Spencer!” 

For nearly an hour, you cried into his chest. He said nothing, just allowing you to cry as he experimented with physical touch. He was the only one you’d ever allow near you. You assumed so at least. “I wanna take a shower,” you muttered after a while.

“I’ll go fix it for you,” he said, smoothing back your hair and looking into your eyes. The look he gave you was unlike anything you’d seen. It was if he knew. Because the next words out of his mouth comforted you, and yet you hadn’t known you’d need them. “Listen to me. This does nothing to change how I feel about you. I love you.”

The left corner of your mouth ticked up softly as your lips quivered. He left your sight for the second time to prepare a shower, but when you got up, you hesitated. “Do you want to get in and close the curtain? Then I could sit outside.” You nodded and turned back, peeling off the scrubs that you’d left the hospital in. As they dropped to the floor, you took in the sight of the deep purple bruises on your arms, and the cuts and scrapes that covered your neck and torso. 

Once you stepped into the shower, you pulled the curtain closed. “Spencer?” You called as loud as you could muster. 

“I’m outside the door. Do you want me to come in?”

“Yes, please.” 

You heard the rustle of the toilet bowl top as he sat on top of it. Nothing was spoken for the most part. A word here or there. You grabbed the soap, nearly new at the start. By the end, there was barely any of it left. You’d probably been in the shower for at least an hour. When you touched between your legs with the soap, a shockwave went through you, a combination of pain and realization. Everything hurt, but he’d touched you. He’d violated you. A choked sob rose in your throat. “Y/N?”

Without a thought, you pulled the curtain open. He grabbed a towel and stepped into the shower, the water sluicing over your body, only covered in the towel, as well as Spencer, still fully clothed. “What do I do, Spencer?” you cried, leaning nearly all of your weight into him so you both needed to sit on the floor of the shower. “What do I do now?”

The water washed over Spencer. His hair was hanging in his face and tickling his nose, but he didn’t dare remove his hands from where they lay. You were willing to have him there, and now more than ever, you needed someone. He would be that someone no matter what. “You’ll have to be patient with yourself. Talk to me. Or anyone you feel comfortable with. And just remember, you’re not alone.”

You brought your hand up to his now soaked shirt and grasped it as hard as you could, allowing the water and Spencer’s steady heartbeat to lull you off to sleep.


End file.
